 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is a sample column I wrote several years ago as a commentary on current events. I could write a similar column on events today. Feel free to down load for review. If you're interested in syndicating such a column on current topics, let me know. A common saying is "It's the money!", when people argue or complain about a problem. Issues can range from feeling unappreciated on the job to feeling disappointed by a friend's gift. The specific amount of money may not matter itself; sometimes just a small sum of money is involved. Or sometimes when a dispute seems to be over money, it isn't about money at all. Instead, it's the little things -- like trust, honesty, loyalty, and good will -- that really matter. Even an argument about a very small amount of money can turn into something very large, because "it's the little things" -- not the money. Let me give you a few examples to show you what I mean. One happened to me and led me to move. I was gradually finding more and more problems at the house I had been renting for over two years. Things were not getting fixed, not getting fixed well, or taking a very long time to get fixed. Worse, after I was away for a week while my landlord was repairing the damage from a leak and promised to keep an eye on the house, I returned to find that his teenage kids had made themselves at home while doing the repairs. They had turned on my computer and left it on, and had hooked up my game equipment to the TV and left it connected. They had even left a pizza box with a few moldy slices of pizza in a cabinet I rarely used. Still, after my landlord apologized, I was willing to put the incident, as well as other past problems aside. But soon afterwards there was the electric bill incident. It happened when I asked my landlord to reimburse me for the extra electricity he used during the three weeks he was making repairs and set up big fans to dry out a carpet in a downstairs room. He claimed the fans were only on for three weeks, even though I knew better, because I was there. The actual amount of the dispute was over a discrepancy of about $75, though my landlord could have raised my rent twice that and I wouldn't have blinked. But now, my landlord's lie about the electric bill was the last straw after a series of problems. And it was his lying and stonewalling, not the money, which bothered me and led me to move after 2 1/2 years and spend over $1500 in moving costs and $300 more a month in rent. Yes, for me it wasn't the money. It was the little things -- my landlord's small lies and the lack of trust I felt as a result. That's what made the $75 dispute so important. And my landlord, who really didn't want a new tenant, lost as well. It cost him several thousand dollars in the 3 months it took him to fix up the house and find a new tenant. Similarly, the little things blew a deal for a real estate agent -- I'll call her Susan. She was trying to sell a home a few blocks away from where I lived at the time. The sellers had set the price at $280,000, and a month after the house was listed, during a slow market period, she finally found a willing buyer -- two older sisters who liked the house. After an inspector hired by the sisters found $6000 in needed repairs -- replacing some old beams and plumbing, the sisters asked if the owner would pay for these. Technically, the owner should pay when necessary structural repairs are revealed after the selling price is established. But at first the owner refused. Still, the sisters loved the house and came back with an offer to split the costs -- so they would pay $3000 each. But the seller refused a second time. Again, the sisters made another offer -- two thirds of the repair costs -- about $4000. But again, no. As their final offer, they agreed to pay $4700, but the seller held firm. That's when the sisters decided to look elsewhere. When Susan told the seller, he finally changed his mind and agreed. But now it was too late, Susan explained. The sisters were so mad at him, they had decided not to buy the house at all, even if he agreed to pay the whole repair bill. They felt they had been willing to compromise and offer more, even though the seller should normally pay these costs. But worse, they were disturbed by the seller's pigheaded intransigence. So the result was no sale -- and two months later, the real estate agent was still trying to sell the house -- though with less enthusiasm than before. In the end, she bailed out as well and turned the house over to another broker, because she was so disgusted with the seller's attitude. So over a $1300 difference, a $280,000 sale was lost. And it wasn't the money that blew the sale. It was the seller's attitude and intransigence. It was the little things, not the money. * * * * * * Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D., J.D., is
the author of over 30 books, a speaker and seminar leader, and the director
of Changemakers and Creative Communications and Research. She specializes
in the area of social issues, criminal justice, and lifestyles. Her latest
books are Work With Me: Resolving Everyday Conflict in
Your Organization and The Innovative Edge.
|
